Survival in America is more than having a decent paying job. For some it’s also vital to open yourself, your home and your heritage to the close scrutiny of your neighbors. At least this is what it’s like for Muslims in Silicon Valley during the holy month of Ramadan.
With hundreds of people attending, the Muslim Community Association hosted its yearly Open House and iftar dinner on Saturday, June 25, in Santa Clara, California. The visit started with a tour of the facilities. We were introduced to the prayer and family halls, the cafeteria at MCA, and we also toured the school on the premises. The Granada Islamic School is located within the main building, it teaches Pre-K-8th grade, and is expanding to include a high school.
I asked our tour guide the difference between what we were seeing and a madrasa since I really didn’t know what a madrasa was. Basically, as it was explained to me, the Granada School is the equivalent to the Catholic school I attended while growing up. If you didn’t study in a religious school, it’s essentially a regular school with religious classes added to the mix. In my case, it was catechism classes. A madrasa, I was told, would be the equivalent of Sunday school at churches.
It was impressive to see how this community comes together, and even more impressive to see the diversity of the people it attracts. Yes, they were all Muslims, but there were people from Pakistan, India, most Middle Eastern countries, African Americans, and European-American Muslims. Even within the African Americans there was diversity. Some started within the Nation of Islam, and others were recent converts due to marriage to a Muslim spouse.
The diversity of community participants attending the open house was also very encouraging. During the presentation, we were asked about our faith traditions. The room was filled with Christians, Jews, Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists and people of no religious tradition at all. What brought us together was a willingness to participate more fully in the understanding of the Muslim *religion*.
I’m emphasizing *religion* because a thick border line was painted between the religion and its social implementations. When the keynote speaker Imam Tariq Aquil addressed the issue of female modesty, I asked a follow-up question about whether males were also expected to dress modestly. Some women in the room clapped loudly when the question was asked. “Not so fast,” he said and he proceeded to explain that men too had rules of modesty that applied to them.
After a few minutes, a young man came to where I was sitting. “I could tell from the look on your face that you were not satisfied with the answer to your question,” he said. He proceeded to explain to me that the rules of modesty that apply to men are meant to ensure that they cover their bodies as well. For instance, Muslim men are not supposed to wear tight-fitting clothes that would show their musculature or other aspects of their bodies. He also said that Muslim men are not allowed to show the area between their knees and their waistline. Naturally, I was not satisfied in the sense that it’s very different having to wear loose clothing and longer shorts, in contrast with head scarves and complete body coverings.
“None of that is dictated by Islam,” he said. Alas, I cannot remember his name.
The keynote speaker and my new friend emphasized that Islam does not compel people to do or not to do, to cover or not to cover. Its tenets are very liberal, and every Muslim is allowed to practice however they want. Women do not need to wear anything in particular to be modest, and being modest is also a personal choice. Everything about Islam is a personal choice, and the religion teaches to not judge how others practice Islam.
After speaking about clothing for a few minutes, we agreed that forcing women to wear or not wear something is more of a cultural aspect than a religious one. For example, here in the U.S. young girls have been sent home from public schools to change clothes because school administrators deemed what they were wearing as too provocative. This too is a means of policing women’s clothes and appearance, and places the burden of the control of men’s sexual impulses on women instead of where it belongs, on the shoulders of men.
The schoolgirls I speak of were all sent home with the same reason: their manner of dress was too distracting to the boys.
You can read more here, here, and here. These are just a few examples of what’s happening to girls at school. The message here is simple: the education of a woman is less important than keeping men away from temptation, while at the same time NOT teaching boys and men how to control themselves.
Later that evening, Samina Sundas from American Muslim Voice reiterated the message that Islam doesn’t compel its followers to do anything in particular.
“I have 7 siblings,” said Sundas. “We were all raised by the same parents, went to the same schools, and attended the same Mosque. But if you put us seven side by side, you would never guess we are siblings because we each express our religion in very different ways.”
The evening was indeed magical. The room was transformed as we learned first-hand what Islam is about. None of us are scholars on the tradition, of course, but the MCA also teaches classes for non-Muslims so that they can learn more about the faith.
Imam Aquil thanked us for attending the Open House. He said that what most people know about Islam is from a few soundbites on the news, and from sensationalistic shows and movies. He thanked us for not relying on those messages alone, and thanked us for taking the time to come to the open house and learn more about the Islamic faith.
Overall, I felt badly during the event. Every single word uttered by Muslims that night was one form or another of “no, we are not that which you were led to believe.” It felt to me that they were begging for our acceptance. Everyone smiled at a lot, and was very friendly. It was this apologetic and conciliatory attitude that made me feel sad for my hosts. As I was standing next to a person I didn’t know, I asked when was the last time he saw a Catholic or Methodist community having to organize an event like this to fight the ignorance that fuels deadly hatred.
But this shows the strength of character that oppressed communities share. It takes a lot of courage to open yourself and make yourself vulnerable to others in order to be better understood. I believe that the MCA’s brave and loving act of hosting a yearly Iftar and Open House is part of what makes Silicon Valley such a rich and fulfilling place to live and work.