I’ve been watching the metaphorical, and not so metaphorical pie fights between the ‘Feel The Bern’ and ‘8 Years of Bill, 8 years of Hill’ camps, and also watching the Republican troglodytes duke it out to deny Unfrozen Caveman Businessman the nomination, but that’s all an aside — I’ve been thinking and working on the whole process of conflict resolution, and how to modernize it, ‘Millennialize’ it, and turn it into something we can all put on our smartphones, tap a few buttons, and presto — conflict resolved. While it won’t be that actually be that simple, here’s my impetus and inspiration, more or less.
Sandra, to make a name for her, one of my college freshman roommates, killed herself during the Christmas vacation. I was rather haunted by this, and never got over it 100% as it was, for me, the first time I had ever known somebody in my daily life who had died. It makes an impact. There were all sorts of interpersonal issues with her — we all butted heads, and she seemed to be the odd person out, and yet, we all ignored the actual problems and let them fester. Before she died she seemed withdrawn and uneasy, but that’s how some people are by nature. She was a loner, an introvert, all traits I identify with, but near the end she displayed very strange behaviors that were decidedly abnormal. She hid inside her closet for hours. Once she mentioned to me in passing she had “a lot inside her she wished she could have processed”, which I should have taken as a warning, but I couldn’t foretold her fate based on a casual comment. I wondered for many years if I contributed to her death or if I could have done something to prevent it.
This has bothered me for many years in that her death might have been prevented, if she had the right tools; the right type of assistance. I still wonder if Sandra’s life was lost because in our dorms we did not have the capacity to recognize, prevent, understand, and deal with her problems that were manifest like an iceberg; or because we did not have the right tools to self-empower ourselves and try to solve them without having to go ask a professional. What if she had the right services, the right interventions, the right tools to deal with her issues? Maybe she would have still be here with us.
But even though this happened almost 15 years ago, what I find puzzling is that it still happens and sometimes it happens with devastating force. Mental illness, isolation, bullying, interpersonal and dating problems paired with guns and anger can create serious outcomes. Take, for instance, the UCSB shootings in Isla Vista — because he couldn’t get a date and went on a rampage and killed others before killing himself. What about the Virginia Tech shooter who was accused of stalking two female students?
Short of many universities to re-examining their own campus safety and security procedures, what else is there within the reach of students to “process” their own interpersonal issues, communicate them to others and perhaps short-circuit the tragic endings we have seen in the last twenty years. My point, colleges and universities are not doing enough to allow for dialogue and other conflict resolution opportunities. We have fallen short in finding viable solutions to interpersonal conflict. More needs to get done and fast. Gun availability, alcohol and drugs combined with anger, bullying, peer pressure, and mental illness are a deadly cocktail we need to abate.
College and University housing have the unique opportunity to pay attention to these issues as these are the niches for the unhealthy dynamics that we have been witnessing in campus colleges over time. It is time to act and find better and new possibilities for reducing the likelihood of suicide, death and mayhem in higher education.
And here’s where I enter the picture. I’m working on something, a solution of the high tech variety, which is initially focused on higher education, but the platform itself has broader applications further on. I’m already well into prototyping an application at this time, but what I really need to push this forward is actual demographic information and metrics which I have not been able to find.
And thus, I’m reaching out to you, the DailyKos community, to possibly lend me a hand in providing this. I’ve put together a short survey about your student housing experiences. I promise, it’s short — no more than 3 minutes. So, without further ado, here’s the link: www.surveymonkey.com/…
Thanks in advance. Any techie folks want to discuss the nitty gritty with me, feel free to private message me, but I’d prefer to keep the in depth stuff out of the discussion thread. Only broad strokes in public. :-)